I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
