does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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