so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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