farters have to be the big spoon...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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