exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
