dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize