After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
