"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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