My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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