i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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