lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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