Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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