I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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