sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
