Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize