Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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