But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
