i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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