I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
