he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize