You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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