If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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