The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
