were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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