I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
