so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
