i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
