The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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