She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
