I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
