if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
