I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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