So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
