At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
