Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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