im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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