so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
