She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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