I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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