fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
