how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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