Im at strip club and am horny
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was like eating out sand paper
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
