How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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