I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
