dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
