Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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