Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
