If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
