So drunk its hurt
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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