People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
