Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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