Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
