just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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