He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
