Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize