just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it because I queefed?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
