I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
