If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
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2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Come on in and take your pants off
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