remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
